As a busy executive mum, you may not be unfamiliar with those moments when your body just doesn’t feel relaxed or comfortable. You might be sitting still, but your shoulders feel tight, your jaw is set, your neck feels loaded and your thoughts are still moving even though your body is trying to stop. By the end of the day, you feel wired, tired, and somehow still holding tension everywhere. This is the kind of pattern so many executive mums live in without even realising it. Your body stays in a low-grade alert state for so long that it starts to feel normal. In this blog, let’s walk through a few simple techniques you can use to shift your body out of that constant “on” mode and into a calmer, more supported state before tension builds into pain.
The nervous system is composed of the brain, spinal cord, and a vast network of nerves that transmit signals throughout the body. This whole system controls everything from movement to sensations and even our thoughts and emotions. The nervous system has two main modes: An alert state, where your body is geared up for action, and a more relaxed state, where healing, digestion, recovery, and muscle release can happen. We need the alert state to be able to get up and get on with our day, be motivated to do our everyday activities. So the problem is not when your body ever enters the alert state, the problem is when it struggles to come back out of it.
Why Breathing Matters More Than Most People Realise:
Breathing is one of the quickest ways to influence your nervous system. When you are stressed, overloaded, or rushing, your breath tends to become shallow and upper-chest dominant. This keeps the neck, jaw, and shoulders more active than they need to be. It also tells your nervous system to stay alert. When your breath becomes slower, lower, and more controlled, you send the opposite signal. You tell your system, “You are safe enough to relax and rest.” That is why breathing is not just about relaxation. It is a practical tool for reducing the build-up of muscular tension, especially in the neck and upper body. Lets explore 3 easy and very simple techniques where you can use your breath to calm your nervous system and reduce muscular tension that leads to pain in the long run.
Technique 1: The Shoulder-Softening Breath -
This is a good one to start with because it is simple and easy to use in the middle of your day: Sit comfortably with your feet grounded. Let your hands rest on your lap. Before you change your breathing, just notice what your shoulders are doing. Now breathe in gently through your nose for a count of 4. As you exhale through your mouth for a count of 6, allow your shoulders to drop. Do not force them down. Just let them release. Repeat this 5 times. The goal here is not a huge breath. The goal is to soften the neck and upper body and reduce the sense that your neck has to keep holding everything.
Technique 2: Lower Rib Breathing -
This technique is especially helpful if you tend to breathe into your chest and neck: Place your hands lightly around the sides of your lower ribs. Breathe in through your nose and think about widening your ribcage sideways into your hands. Not lifting your shoulders, not puffing your chest, just letting the ribs expand gently outward. Then exhale slowly through your mouth and feel the ribs settle. Repeat for 5 to 8 breaths. If your shoulders try to lift or tense up, pause and make the breath smaller. This technique works best when it feels easy and steady.
Technique 3: Box Breathing -
This is a structured way to slow your breathing and bring your body out of that constant “go mode: Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds. Hold your breath gently for 4 seconds. Breathe out slowly through your mouth for 4 seconds. Hold again for 4 seconds. Repeat this cycle for 4 to 6 rounds. If you are not able to hold your breath for 4 seconds start with 1 or 2 seconds and gradually work up to 4 seconds. This is a great one to use between meetings or when you feel that tension building in your neck.
All these breathing techniques might feel unusual at first, but after a few cycles, you will notice your body starting to settle. Your shoulders soften, your jaw relaxes, and your thoughts slow down slightly.
When to Use These During the Day:
You do not need a perfect routine for this to help.
Use them:
- before a meeting
- after a stressful conversation
- when your jaw feels tight
- when your shoulders are creeping up
- at the first sign of that “off” feeling in your neck
Small, repeated resets work better than waiting until your body is already in pain.
What This Helps With:
These techniques are simple, but they can make a real difference in:
- neck and shoulder tension
- jaw clenching
- cervicogenic headache build-up
- end-of-day fatigue
- that “wired but tired” feeling
Because once your nervous system starts feeling safer, your body does not have to hold itself so tightly.
Another very important aspect of nervous system regulation is your posture. Poor posture leads to spinal misalignment, reduced circulation, muscular imbalance, all of which put your nervous into an alert mode. Alternatively, a good posture means your body can reset itself and nervous system can be regulated easily. Watch this video to learn "A Simple 3-Step Posture Reset You Can Do in Under A Minute (That Actually Works)"
If your body tends to stay in that alert, hyper-aware state, breathing is one of the easiest places to begin. Not because it fixes everything on its own, but because it gives your body a way out of the constant holding pattern. And when you combine this with posture resets and small movement breaks, the difference becomes much more noticeable.
HERE is a blog on Why You Keep Slipping Into A Poor Posture Even When You Intend To Sit Perfectly All Day? which gives you the rationale behind why your posture keeps slipping during the day and what your body is actually needing instead.
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