As an executive mum if you have ever rubbed your shoulders at the end of the day and thought, “Why does this still hurt? I barely did anything today” …. You are not alone. And you are definitely not broken. In fact, persistent shoulder tension is one of the most common symptoms in high-achieving, overstretched moms, even after a full night’s sleep or a weekend “off.” The truth is …. Rest doesn’t fix tension that’s coming from overload, posture, and the nervous system. In this blog let’s break down why your shoulders stay tight and what you can do about it.
Your neck and shoulders aren’t “tight.” They are protecting you.
When you’re stressed, rushed, or mentally overloaded, your body shifts into a low-level “protective” mode. Your nervous system tells your muscles to stay slightly switched on, especially around your neck and shoulders. So even if you rest … those muscles keep guarding. They never get the memo to stand down. The tension becomes your new normal. This is why you wake up tight, even after “doing nothing.”
Sitting all day compresses the nerves that run through your neck shoulder region.
Long hours at a desk, driving, scrolling, or holding kids all tend to push your head forward and your shoulders inward. This compresses the nerves that runs from your neck through your shoulder. That compression sends a signal to your muscles to “brace.” And bracing = chronic tension. No amount of rest fixes that nerve signal.
You are carrying more emotional weight than you realise.
High-performing women often hold the invisible load in their bodies:
- deadlines
- decisions
- family logistics
- emotional labor
- the mental juggling act you never get credit for
Your neck and shoulders are literally where you store what you can’t drop.
Stretching won’t help when the root issue isn’t flexibility.
This is a big one. Most women try to stretch their way out of neck and shoulder pain.
But if the root cause is:
- nerve compression
- posture collapse
- stress activation
- poor spinal alignment
.... then stretching is just pulling on an already irritated system.
You don’t need to stretch more. You need to reset the load and calm the nervous system.
Micro alignment beats rest every single time.
If you want real relief, skip the “perfect posture” myth. Instead, aim for small, simple resets throughout the day.
A few seconds of:
- lifting the chest
- softening the ribs
- stacking the head over the heart
- releasing the jaw
- breathing into the lower ribs
…can unload the nerves and switch off that constant guarding. When your posture supports your body, your nervous system finally feels safe enough to let go.
Watch this video to learn how to do a posture reset:
Your shoulder tension isn’t going away because it isn’t just a muscle problem. It’s a load, posture, and nervous system problem. And once you shift those three things, your shoulders can finally do what they’ve been trying to do all along: relax.
Do you want your neck and shoulders to finally relax? Grab the free guide to help avoid Neck and shoulder Pain when Working From Home HERE.
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